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Why Call It a Tourist Season, If We Can’t Shoot Them?

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I am bored, I should be working but the economy is shit, nobody is biting and I am tired of flogging a dead horse. There’s no football to watch, the cricket is entertaining but the English weather just puts a dampener on proceedings.  So I either troll the internet hoping for confirmation that we have signed the next Zidane, Messi (not the Egyptian kind), whether Van Djjk will still end up at Liverpool despite the official announcement, is it all just a cunning plan to get the price down or just simply blame Donald Trump for all of the above and anything else I can think up or I can simply add to the mayhem and silliness of FOAR. No choice really, but I would just like to advise my fellow FOARites:

 “You’re never too old to learn something stupid”            

 

INTENSITY ENERGY AND PENETRATION

During the season, I think it was the match against West Ham, when Jim Beglin announced that this is what Liverpool needed to do to win; you have to forgive me for giggling and thinking it sounded like a bad porno movie. It was at that time when panic mode had set in for me, the entire season was on the line, it was a must win game in order for us to clinch that 4th spot with the rear Gunners breathing down our neck and we were doing our own version of biting the pillow.

Yes, we had the likes of the self-assured Onyx, who would smoke a pipe on the deck of a 30 foot yacht in the middle of a hurricane not batting an eye-lid as he calmly states it was never in doubt and then quietly changing his underwear when nobody is looking. Personally for me, if you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.

However, staying on this topic of Intensity are we as fans demanding too much, are we being too unrealistic or are we just plain Plastic Fans in a modern plastic world and it’s our right, warranted or not to be entertained, but above all win and demolish everyone in sight regardless of reality or not.

The answer is probably yes, because it is our right to demand that our team wins and challenges for the title year in and year out, unless you are our wee neighbours “The Bitters”, who are just happy if they can beat us … maybe soon. Well, within the next decade… or finish above us sometime in the next century. ..Please.

Never has a Shankly quotes been more apt:

“The Best two teams on Merseyside are Liverpool and Liverpool Reserves”

“If Everton were playing at the bottom of my garden I would draw the curtains”

Appointed in 1959 and leaving out promotion in 1962 in took him 5 years to win the league title in 1964. If he was appointed today would he have been afforded that amount of time?

Probably, because we were in the second division at the time and it only took him 2 years for the first title. He created Liverpool, The Boot Room Philosophy, The Liverpool Pass and Move style of play that ushered in a decade or two of success that ultimately was lost by the money men rather than the players on the pitch. Certainly the wine drinking sot down the East Lancs road Slur Alex would not have lasted as long as he did in today’s modern era, taking 6 years to win his first league title.

I won’t go into too much detail regarding this, but contrary to popular belief; Liverpool regularly spent the most, acquiring the best talent in the U.K, foreign players being curtailed to three players per team in those days and maybe a return to that policy, with Brexit on the cards. We had a strong contingent of Irish and Scottish players in the glory days. Under Moores and Parry, we lost out on the commercial side of things, never maximising the Liverpool brand in terms of revenue and stadium upgrades and subsequently fell behind in the purchasing power of established star players.

From a personal perspective under FSG, it seems financial stability has returned to Liverpool and with the massive increase in revenue streams, regardless of the outcome and Yes, its far from over, the intent to spend, 50, 60 or 70 million quid on VVD does show that we are prepared to spend big on identified important targets, if not massively in the Galactico mould of the Sugar Daddy clubs. In that vein, I am glad we are run like a sustainable business model and not a PPP (petro pet project) or hobby.

Is winning more important than entertaining?  99.9% of the time any fan would say “Yes” and the other 0.01% forgot to take their meds. If it wasn’t the case Woy, Fat Sam and Tony P. would not have a job, and is probably why Whinger was under tremendous pressure this season, languishing out of the top four spots by a considerable margin for most of the season, ultimately just missing out by one point and saving his bacon by winning the FA cup, despite the attractive brand of football his teams play.

Not since Kenny (pre 2000) and Rafa, have we had a Manager that instills a sense of belief, pride, philosophy and most importantly a direction that will ultimately bring success that fans can actually see unfold and get behind. Add the solid financial guidance and stability of FSG and there is no reason not to get excited for the future.

If anyone mentions Wee Brendan, he who lives by the motto “To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential” and the 13/14 season or the unbeaten Scottish season I will take my toys and go and play somewhere else.

OK yes it’s my opinion and there is a lot of hysteria, doom and gloom at the moment with how things are transpiring, but remember it is still early days and let’s judge the transfer window when we have actually concluded our business. The old saying it’s not how your start the race but how you finish is very apt at this stage.

So back to my convoluted point. If this is the case, the future is bright, why are there still so many Fans out there on other websites and one or two grumblings on FOAR recently after what has transpired, unwilling to trust and buy into a Klopp master plan. The one thing Germans are good at is master plans…I did not mention the war.

Why is it so hard to give him the time to implement it before we start with the hysterical and overt criticism? Why is it so hard to believe? Are we that jaded from the years and years of no success that we find it difficult to finally believe?  Yes, he will make mistakes, buy the wrong player or not enough of the right players as he willingly admitted this year. Imagine Wee Brendan admitting he has made a mistake, or the mutt Maureen, admitting he’s not so special, he made a mistake, paid too much for Pogba!!!

We have a genuinely nice person; with a streak of ruthlessness as Sakho found out, with a great personality and sense of humour despite being German – sorry Christian it was too good an opportunity to pass up.

He has a great track record, in terms of success, building dynasty’s against the odds, creating champions from nothing and let’s face it, if he can do it at BVB with their resources, the odds are on our side that he can certainly accomplish great things at Liverpool with all our resources and with no Muppet Cowboys to pull the rug out from underneath him.

I am not asking everyone to hold hands and sit around the campfire singing Kumbaya, the risk with Jolive and Abbo Dave far outweigh the appeal of roasted marshmallows.  What I am asking for is a little faith, a little patience and a little belief that the right people will arrive this summer, and we will progress next year regardless of all the doom merchants and all the click bait news coverage.

Here is something more serious to ponder in this silly season

“Married men live longer than single men, but they’re a lot more willing to die”

 

mm
Keith van Vollenhoven
Born a Scouser, then left the north of England together with his parents for the sun in South Africa. Has been supporting the Reds for well over 50 years. Thought the success in the 70's, 80's and 90's was the norm and now suffers from a severe hangover ever since. Time to get back up on our perch.
  • jolive

    Salah statement coming soon, tick tock

    • Riiseandshine

      “10 o clock news” yeah?

      • jolive

        hope not, it’s coming from Italy which means 11.00 for me which means i’ll be down the pub

        • Riiseandshine

          Enjoy

  • Ian96

    Good write up mate.

  • MentalAndBookmarked

    oh keith, they’re not marshmallows, and that’s not icing sugar. And @Abbodave never said they were!

  • NorseDweller

    That’s one very agreeable way of dealing with boredom. Cheers!

  • Prince

    Jeezzzz keith you are bored! You probably had to choose between the shotgun and the keyboard…good choice 🙂

    Nice read!

    • Pierre Levert

      Don’t worry, just follow the beach volleyball, forget about football for a while.

      • Prince

        Good one!

        Brazilian women in bikini’s….mmmm

        • OldFlaky

          She is german and she have no sense humour…she would probably slap you in the face for your mistake, a Moyes slap.

          • Pierre Levert

            Looks like she has got amazing ball skills….

          • OldFlaky

            I like that 😀

          • Prince

            Totally worth it!

          • OldFlaky

            And one in the balls, bonus slap.

          • Prince

            Ouch! Still worth it 🙂

        • Ian96

          Now ya talkin

      • Ian96

        As long as the women are topless and have bug baps…….obviously😆

  • Christian

    Very good piece, Keith – although the alleged Germans’ lack of sense of humour is a myth…
    BTW: Coutinho, when asked for the 923rd time about a potential move to Barca, replied has a long term contract and “IT IS COMPLICATED”(Echo). All of a sudden, King’s claim today of us going for Mbappé makes sense.
    He and Salah both offer amazing pace, Couts doesn’t (though he is a great player). Couts, for me, does not seem to be entirely happy at LFC, a huge transfer fee for him would balance the investment for Mbappe.

    • Riiseandshine

      Prob not a popular view, but I’d be okay with losing coutinho and replacing him with mbappe.. it’s not complicated though couts. Barca make a bid and we let them talk to you or not..surely anything else is tapping up isn’t it!? 😉

      • Pierre Levert

        I’m far from being astute on marketing and merchandise, but Mbappe would surely be a great source of profit in both, give or take the 100 million we have to shell out for him!

        • Riiseandshine

          Couts is good as gone. Too much talk and too much fence sitting from his side. Like to see us get a player like mbappe in to replace him. Agree with Christian about pace. Plus yeah, if he can step up into being one of those superstar players then why not! 😁

          • Pierre Levert

            He only came on my radar in the ECL probably against City, but if we could get him what a coup that would be.

          • Riiseandshine

            Real Madrid in though. They’ll just click their fingers..the usual. We can dream though

          • KeithSA

            How many times must he say he is happy at Liverpool, new long term contract he is going nowhere

          • Riiseandshine

            Another fifty times without a face like a smacked arse..he won’t be here in September 😉

          • Onyx

            “As good as gone” come on… don’t be that guy

          • Riiseandshine

            realist you mean..Don’t get me wrong I don’t really care if he goes…He’s not Torres or Suarez..

          • Onyx

            I’d say that Coutinho is further at 25 than Suarez was. Next few seasons will show if he can push on the absolute top. 7 and 2 in his last 10 games this season is pretty frightening.

            And no, it’s no realist. As good as gone is plain bullshit. Yeah he may be sold for absolute silly money, but not very likely. He’s absolutely happy here, he loves to be our main man over being on the bench at Barca. His recent quotes state that.

          • Riiseandshine

            Read my reply to Keith on the coutinho article…

          • Riiseandshine

            Not very likely.. 😂 Right

          • Riiseandshine

            Are you kidding. You think he’s further on then Suarez was?

          • Onyx

            At just 25? Yeah definitely.

          • Onyx

            Just in numbers: central forward Luis Suarez played 39 games in 11/12, scored 17, assisted 11 and got us 8th in the league. Phil played on the wing and central midfield. Played 36, scored 14 and assisted 9 and got us 4th.

            Especially from midfield, Phil influenced games a lot.

    • Pierre Levert

      At last, betting odds that I can understand,
      The latest Mbappe odds from SkyBet!

      Liverpool currently at 12/1 – That means if you put £10 on him to sign for them, you will lose £10

      • Ian96

        Haha. Funny but true

    • KeithSA

      Cannot see that happening, lots of reports his family (Coutinho) are really settled and happy in Liverpool. Looks like Salah fee has been agreed, cannot see us paying anywhere near that fee for an 18 year old.

      • Riiseandshine

        That fee for an 18 yr old is mental! What’s going on? So hard to judge what repreeents value now…

    • Alex

      If Couts goes, we should go in for Mahrez

      • 44yearsAfan

        Mahrez is nowhere near the player couts is and plays a deeper role so not a compatible player for me as a replacement but to play with would be better as i think they would be a good partnership with couts taking a floating role and mahrez coming from deep to help out when attacking

        • Alex

          okay.. so EPL player of the season isn’t a great player. right. He has the talent to play anywhere across the front or behind.

          • 44yearsAfan

            I didnt say he wasnt a great player i said he is nowhere near the player couts is ( should have said the player he can be ) and i think he would play a better role in our team sat deeper

  • NG

    Great read Keith. I can’t wait for the new season to kick on. Hopefully, we can get some business done soon so Klopp can get on with blooding the new recruits. Outside of that, it’s all good in the hood.

  • Anon A Mouse

    What happened to Brandt? Wasn’t he also one of the main targets?

    I don’t believe if I’m completely honest. I want the transfer window done and dusted even before it’s opened. At the end of last season Klopp said the work was done on whom he wanted, yet still no real signings (ok one U20 player with, wait for it, potential). Look at City while the rest of the teams run around like headless chickens, they are getting their business done and rapidly moves on.

    We can’t even get Can to sign a new contract. So no I’m not very optimistic and I don’t really blame Klopp for this, I’m sure he had his little wishlist and gave it to Edwards (who’s done a bit of analysis and decided to rather get other players most probably.) Problem is we don’t have the quality at the decision making table that will transfer to quality on the pitch.

    Oh and by the way, I do demand from a 125 year old club that ruled Europe for two decades to be challenging for silverware on all fronts. EVERY SINGLE YEAR. If the people at the club at the moment can’t do that, then get people (or even sell to people) that are able to do it. I’m a fan for what FSG has done for this club, but I think it’s time for the club to kick on and start being serious about winning and competing.

    • Christian

      Brandt’s performances have declined over the last half season. I have seen him playing against San Marino two days ago, he was average again. He was a promising player, but atm he does not like like being good enough.

  • Onyx

    I’ll happily share that pipe with the calm blokes as Pep, Zjelko, Peter and Jurgen than a set of supporters in pure panic mode. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/af5507ccc861df846bde907244c46258710d2d3b979ad24d0dd8eb81956f3714.jpg

    • NG

      The calm blokes aren’t the ones that need the pipe…. Peace and blessings 🙂

  • Riiseandshine

    “the intent to spend, 50, 60 or 70 million quid on VVD does show that we are prepared to spend”….intent..I could show intent to spend 50m…but I won’t either..

    • KeithSA

      My little ray of sunshine :), that’s all you took form the piece?

      • Riiseandshine

        No I won’t touch the fact that you’re obsessed with calling anyone “hysterical” that has a slightly different opinion than you. Where are the hysterics?? Can you detect that tone from a font on a screen? Am I hysterical writing this? Clue: not even slightly..If LFC spend 50m on van dijk then coutinho is going to Barca for 80m. They’re running the club their way and that’s fine. I’m not angry about it I’m not demanding we spend massive money we don’t have. I do have s problem with FSG getting credit for “intent”… prove their intent. James Pearce bullsjit isn’t intent. And I’m not just talking vvd..I’m talking the mbappe bullshit and all the previous links to big names that were already going somewhere else…the one time they went for a big name and seemingly got him on board, they pull out quicker than a teenager in a back alley. just because someone isn’t falling over themselves to beat the FSG drum doesn’t mean that they are against them and the project. As for the “wait until the window closes before you judge” then what’s the point in discussing it if you just always pull out that line? It’s an easy get out. So we talk
        In September? Nah, we get to September and the focus is on actual football…please for the love of God!!! Bring back the football..

        • Do you really want him to go to Narnia?
          There’s a huge ass lion in there…

          • Riiseandshine

            Not all. I like Keith..despite his sickening positivity 😂

        • Onyx

          Jeez lad, just wait until the window is closed…

          You’re not wrong. Then again, views need to change on the evidence from recent years. They’ve invested in the squad, in the stadium and now the trainingpitch. Nobody doubted they could’ve done more but overall they’ve done well. They paid for Firmino, Benteke, Mane, Wijnaldum.. to blame them that we’ve made money by selling unwanted players is a bit of a mad shout.

          All things suggest that they’re happy to spend big within the philosophy of the club. Mostly meaning that a player needs to have a rest value.

          • Riiseandshine

            Where did i blame them 😂 I’m saying that they’re doing it their way and that’s completely fine. But they shouldn’t get credit for going big, or intent, purely on speculative links in the press. That’s all I’m saying 😁 i actually don’t think that they were going to pay that money for vvd unless we matched it by selling players. But that’s just my opinion. Not saying that’s bad, just don’t think they’ll spend big without selling

          • Onyx

            Didn’t say it was you, but there’s loads of hysteria in the world of LFC supporters. TIA is currently one of the finer layers of hell.

            Klopp has been very bold in his statements. Much more so than ever before. Even with the “you don’t get an award for positive transfer spend” recently. They’re happy to go big. It’s nice if the doubters get proven wrong with an 80M Mbappe, 40M Oxo Chambo, 65M van Dijk, 35M Costa and an 7M Robertson.

          • Riiseandshine

            If Liverpool pay arsenal 40m for ox, I’ll make it my business to personally slap Edwards across the jaw

          • Onyx

            It’s what the numbers are these days mate. It’s mad, but it is what it is. Slapping Edwards is an ok shout anyway.

          • MentalAndBookmarked

            you don’t have to worry about that. It’s just the agent pushing for a nice pay rise in the new contract

          • Riiseandshine

            Mappe, van dijk and costa yes..other two for almost 50m? Not even for 5m thanks

          • Riiseandshine

            There’s hysteria with every fan base you just have to know where to look. I deleted my twitter account because it couldn’t be avoided. 😱

          • Onyx

            It’s madness.. absolute madness. TIA on Facebook is even worse than the Disqus channel. People going apeshit over everything.

          • Riiseandshine

            I’m all for having a moan now and again..it’s good to vent. But fuckin hell, even I have a limit of what I can
            put up with 😳 Crazy stuff

          • Anon A Mouse

            And that’s the reason I want the season to start and the transfer window to close. Then we can have a proper moan about what really matters.

          • Riiseandshine

            A while to go yet…it’s only June!!!!😫

          • MentalAndBookmarked

            wow, that’s pretty huge coming from you Riise. I’m impressed!

          • Riiseandshine

            I’m not some kind of lunatic. Maybe i should go back to TIA so that I can look a bit more reserved..

          • Pierre Levert

            You stay right here,defecting to TIA is not an option.

          • Riiseandshine

            I couldn’t go there…I may disagree with some comments here but at least they’re made by intelligent people..That place is toxic

          • MentalAndBookmarked

            we would miss you!

          • Riiseandshine

            Won’t get rid if me that easy..there’s a block button there.

          • globalcockup

            I liked the early days of the internet when it was invented for porn..thats why it was invented right?

          • Riiseandshine

            If they got rid of porn from the internet there’d only be one site and it would be called bringbackporn.com

          • Onyx

            It’s the sole reason it’s successful, intentional or otherwise.

          • KeithSA

            Yes as far as I am concerned for married men:)

          • MentalAndBookmarked

            have they made it so it does other things now?

          • globalcockup

            apparently!

          • Pierre Levert

            I knew there should have been some beach volleyball on here in the silly season to take our minds off football.

        • MentalAndBookmarked
          • Riiseandshine

            note to self: must make comments more drab and insert some economics talk to make myself sound like a wannabe pundit…

    • MentalAndBookmarked

      #RIISEOUT

      • Riiseandshine

        #biteme 😎

  • Jason Patel

    There’s a great YouTube video where someone has taken a clip from the film Downfall and changed the subtitles so that it looks like Hitler is reacting to finding out that Santa isn’t real rather than he’s just lost the war. He goes through all the emotions in about five minutes. Would be great to get this for the VVD debacle! 😀

  • GOLDEN family <3

    Awesome article Keith. Btw, SA is out of the champions trophy

    • KeithSA

      🙂 Yes I am supporting England as my Son had to leave due to the quota systems, Playing in Harrogate at the moment.

      • GOLDEN family <3

        Good luck to him.

        • KeithSA

          Just had a very good trial at Kent and MCC youth team waiting for feedback but preliminary feedback he impressed 😄

          • GOLDEN family <3

            Hoping one day I see him playing in IPL 🙂

      • GOLDEN family <3

        And I heard about he reserved quota system in sports in SA. That sucks. I come from a country which has this kind of system in two of the most important aspects of life: Education and Job. So I can very well understand.

    • Anon A Mouse

      Wasn’t really a surprise that SA is out anyway. They only play well between trophies, not when there is something on the line.

      • Vivek Bharos

        so basically they are liverpool of international cricket 🙁

        I like SA as a cricket team but they do carry some bad luck in the knockout stages of the tournament.

        and we as LFC fan know what bad luck is all about.

      • GOLDEN family <3

        They have exceptional players but lack the mentality.

  • hahah loved that whisky nose bit n narnia .. nice article mate..

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