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Fear and Loathing in the Transfer Market

This piece has been inspired by the regular bloggers on FOAR, a supremely diverse group of like-minded Liverpool supporters in the Hogwarts’s mould that makes the banter and discussion extremely enjoyable, entertaining and enlightening all at the same time, unlike the site ”It That Must Not Be Named”, that like a Dementor can suck the life out of any debate. Everyone has the right to be stupid and augmentative, but they are definitely abusing that privilege!

So silly season is on us and believe it or not the transfer window has not even opened, yet it’s already been dubbed a disaster … according to some.  For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction.

That brings me to our first fairly high profile potential signing Mohammed Salah. Yes I did say fairly high profile and I know a few armchair experts among us that have won numerous Prem titles on Fantasy Football League, find this slightly underwhelming, personally being linked with Andrew Robinson, the international from the mighty all conquering Scottish nation is slightly more underwhelming for me, but call me old fashioned.

Some have dubbed him as a failed Prem player because of his stint at Chelsea and the staggering 10 appearances in the 2013/2014 season and 3 appearances from the bench in the Premier league in the 2014/2015 and a few starts in the cup competitions, a total of 19 appearances in all competitions in 2 years to make this judgement call, a stat that makes Daniel Sturridge’s return for Liverpool look impressive.

As a technical, pacey, ball playing attacker, playing for “The Special Needs One” who Hazard accused of playing anti-football, his opinion backed up by MOU being fired when he lost the dressing room with the same team that won the tittle the year before and with Conte the year after, has earned the lad a reasonable mitigating excuse, a point he has proved at Roma, with 109 appearances, scoring 43 goals in all competitions.   Yes, yes that inferior Serie A league, the same one that was represented in the Champions League final, yes the same one that excels in playing defensive style football.

Regardless of your feelings, it still a very decent return and not to be scoffed at.  Add in 59 appearances for his country with a 29 goal return, you start understanding my point. Again sniggers about African football, you go play in the Congo and Burkina Faso on their less than manicured pitches and get those types of returns, not forgetting hostile crowds and the intimidation tactics that are common, with beating drums keeping you up all night and machine-gun guards following you around as much for intimidation as for protection, it almost as bad as Moss side.

By the way check out Wikipedia, he is already playing for Liverpool according to them and if he has the same impact as Mane, another player some people thought we overpaid for, I will be really pleased.

It seems some judge a player’s worth by the size of the transfer fee. You just have to ask your wife or girlfriend and they will tell you, size is not everything; it’s how effective you are.  If you’re not lucky to have both like Abbo (its only Kinky the first time you try it) Dave, you will end up buying an overpriced Shevchenko  or Pogba, that only the truly big teams can do and still finish 6th in the league.  Funny that it’s the same manager who bought both, throw in Torres, Shaun Wright Phillips, Tal Ben Haim, Kalhid Boulahrouz  and Steve Sidwell and you get my point.  Since 2004 he has spent a staggering 884,800 pounds on players, the most by any manager.

Ultimately we have a manager that has excelled in the transfer market; a manager that has excelled in unearthing talent overlooked by others, a manager that has had considerable success against teams that have had unlimited funds to spend.  A manager who ultimately values the whole over the individual, where team ethics, team dynamics, team commitment and collective responsibility is more important than individual brilliance.  That is not to say he shuns individual excellence, one just has to look at Coutinho, Mane, Firmino and Lallana for those examples but they still need to have the required work rate and buy into a common purpose to advance the team’s chances of success or individual success under his direction and philosophy.

So while it is everyone’s right to have an opinion, the right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously, just maybe we should wait firstly for the transfer window to open and secondly until we actually see who we have or have not brought in.

I have started my pie-baking list of the humble persuasion with 2 members featuring prominently on it… so far, that I will, ad nausea, remind them of their dummy-spitting tantrums, pre-transfer window, especially when we bring in the required quality in the required  numbers allowing us to compete successfully across all 4 competitions.

And remember – a positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

mm
Keith van Vollenhoven
Born a Scouser, then left the north of England together with his parents for the sun in South Africa. Has been supporting the Reds for well over 50 years. Thought the success in the 70's, 80's and 90's was the norm and now suffers from a severe hangover ever since. Time to get back up on our perch.
  • anonymous98345

    if VVD does sign, do we give an assist to Gini?

  • anonymous98345

    good article all around.
    The point about the transfer fee was funny and on point. People want to attribute worth regarding the fee and then hang the fee around the player’s neck when he struggles. Fans want to complain that we are not spending enough (like some defined “enough”) will magically make a great team and then later complain we wasted money.
    Klopp and the club seem to have figured out what they need, what they are willing to spend and make it work.
    If we have a transfer window as successful as last summer we will be in good shape. It is still early.

  • This should be required reading prior to every transfer window. Really well done!

  • Prince

    Great read once again Keith!

    Opinion and reality some simply don’t know the difference. For me the best part is that we simply don’t know who will be our new signing, that’s a major difference from former regime.

    Looking forward to the next article 🙂

  • NorseDweller

    Thank you for making silly season a touch less so.

    In one of, if not the, last pre-match pressers, Klopp said most work relating to the transfer window was nearly done. I hope that turns out to be the case and that he lands his targets early whilst giving the likes of Sakho a dignified exit.

  • Quicky Zebra

    Nice write-up.. when ‘reliable sauces’ claimed that VVD has accepted city instead of us, the Twitter meltdown was horrible. At the rumoured 60M and 200k/week, im expecting a Maldini reincarnate. Great if he comes in, else, I’m sure there are other defenders just as good as VVD.

    • Riiseandshine

      Twitter? No no no no no..don’t do that to yourself!

  • Drewster

    You can’t tell us to calm down to panic dammit. We are Liverpool supporters, its hardwired in our DNA to panic at the lack of transfer activity (even though the window hasn’t officially opened) ! So everyone must panic away, you cannot go against nature.

    I think we will have pretty much wrapped up our negotiations and we will be surprised at what we get (like the previous window). i.e we will get players that weren’t talked about much in the rumours. Then we can panic that they aren’t good enough – see, all is right with the world.

    Disclaimer: All is not right with the world, my thoughts are with the victims of yet another terrorist attack, this time in London

    • Pierre Levert

      Very true, all is not right in the world, and boy will Trump try to take full advantage of that.

  • Pierre Levert

    Well written Keith, the transfer talk is all over the place at the moment, at least there is no Euro tournament to complicate transfers this summer, but a few World Cup qualifiers to be played all the same, I guess when things happen we will hear it here first.

  • Ash

    Ha the site that must not be named recently banned me and I have no idea why:D

    I went back the other day to see if they had any different news, so much hate and anger towards everyone’s on the comments.

    • Pierre Levert

      Yes, I noticed that the same old characters ,albeit with new alias names, are still there.

      • Ash

        It was so funny. So much fume. At least here it’s generally civilised.

        • Drewster

          Define civilised?

        • Riiseandshine

          What’s fucking civilised!!!!! You complete @€?&€)@@!!!!!!! 😉

  • Tbone187

    Brilliant write-up Dude!!

  • Christian

    Good read, spot on. The whole transfer blabla season really sucks, especially with the lack of trust in our own staff displayed on every opportunity.

    • Riiseandshine

      Not unwarranted though Christian. They have the reputation they have for a reason. Did well last summer though. I’ll reserve judgement for this summer

  • S American Con

    Nice article alright, but just because it’s on Wikipedia means absolutely nowt!!

  • Vivek Bharos

    unlike the site ”It That Must Not Be Named”. you nailed it keith. nice article.

  • Alex

    awesome article pal, trust Klopp. end of.

  • Kim Törnqvist

    Good article mate, I enjoyed it! The dig at José in particular a highlight for me! I have a feeling Salah will be a success for us, close to or equally so to Mané and that the two of them in the same eleven will terrify defences in the upcoming campaign.

  • Saravana Kumar

    You just have to ask your wife or girlfriend and they will tell you, size is not everything; it’s how effective you are…..😆😆😆😆😆

    • Pierre Levert

      It’s not easy to be effective when you hear those whisperings in your ear “this ceiling needs decorating”

      • Saravana Kumar

        😂😂😂😂

      • KeithSA

        LOL turn her over

      • Prince

        hahaha place a mirror on the ceiling! 😛

        • Pierre Levert

          Mirrors on the ceiling, pink champagne on ice, heard it before somewhere….

          • KeithSA

            Yes Mr Eagle:) please don’t check out just yet

          • Prince

            Barry helping you out in the background….classy!

    • Ander Herrera The ScumDick

      I have both

      • Saravana Kumar

        U mean size and everything… or wife and Gf

        • S American Con

          Hehehe😃

        • Ander Herrera The ScumDick

        • Ander Herrera The ScumDick

          Dammit do i have to repeat?
          I have both

          • Saravana Kumar

            😂😂😂😂

  • Riiseandshine

    I’m pretty easy going. Just sign Tah, Gaya, Renato Sanches, aubameyang and Brandt and I’m happy 😊

    • Stromdiddily

      You mean Renato Laranja? Now there’s a guy we could use

  • Timp

    Well written contribution. It has everything I would want in a Liverpool article, a dig at Mou and Utd (wots not to like). A reflection of my own view in all things Klopp/transfers/and targets and timings.

    Ps. Should that read £884m.

    • Riiseandshine

      Hmmm 🤔 Wait a minute..the jig’s up Keith..anyone seen Timp and Keith in the same room? Didn’t think so..😉

      • KeithSA

        Jealousy makes you nasty:)

  • Riiseandshine

    Just in United..listening to Radio sports news today( northern Irish station): griezmann staying at atletico because he won’t abandon them when there’s a transfer ban..they go on to say..”he was supposed to be a target for United until their interest in him cooled” What the actual fuck!! If that was a player we were in for it would be “player x has spectacularly snubbed LFC!” Interest cooled my ass…

    • RedNeve

      Hahahaha!!
      My wife said, the mere mention of Man Utd on the radio gives me Tourette’s..!

      • Riiseandshine

        I usually switch it straight off but they caught me on the hop today 😂

        • RedNeve

          Brilliant 😂

          • Riiseandshine

            I then went on to explain the situation (at length) to my partner..she stared out the window completely uninterested 😂😂 and my 2yr old daughter just kept saying “what’s wrong daddy”…😂

          • RedNeve

            I know exactly how it is. I have a houseful of girls. Nobody whatsoever to talk football to. I talk to myself now and again but, that’s another story….😂

          • Riiseandshine

            😂 we all do that..

          • Saravana Kumar

            Yeah…agree to that!… even my dogs don’t listen to me…

          • Pierre Levert

            So, you’re not the “dog whisperer” then…

          • Saravana Kumar

            😢😢😢😢

          • Saravana Kumar

            Lol

          • Pierre Levert

            That’s where the pub comes in handy, though one I went into recently had a women’s pool match on same time as the footy, no escape some times.

        • Ash

          Yeah but when it’s news that they’re not signing Griezmann it’s gotta be worth a listen;)

          • Riiseandshine

            that part did make me laugh 🙂

  • Riiseandshine

    Nice article. Why didn’t you just name me 😂..I’ll bake my own pie, from the tears of Man Utd fans..

    • KeithSA

      Much better to keep them guessing:) Is it or is it not.

  • Stan Dinaround

    You still cant accept Brendan Rodgers pulled off something special with Celtic.. “People” think a good transfer is one that costs ludicruos amounts of money.. But most think £30m for Salah is ludicrous… We bought Can for £10m, and Rise absolutely loves him… While it easy to write something in an extremely generalised manner without saying anything in particular, I’m not sure anyone here wants or expects Klopp to go out and spend £60m on VVD let alone anyone else.. The transfer window has not opened yet, but reality is, we have a shocking track record, so anyone with their head above ground, is always going to be a bit dubious, especially when our only signing so far, is a kid from Chelsea who cant score in the Dutch league unless it’s from the penalty spot… But hey ho.. whatever passes the time.

    • Riiseandshine

      I do love Emre! He better sign that new deal

    • globalcockup

      I wonder why we bought that chelsea kid..maybe Klopp see’s something

      • Stan Dinaround

        I know it was a free, but it doesn’t seem to make much sense, what with Ings, Oggs and Sturridge still on the bools, and and fantasy we may have about a 20 goal a season striker coming in.. Odd is the word I would use.

        • KeithSA

          It all about progression Ings is 24 Origi 22 and Solenke 19. Each develop at their own pace some sooner than others. This Solenke could be the buy of the window. Highly rated more so than Rashford

          • Stan Dinaround

            Yeah, maybe, still an odd choice.. given his inability to score regular goals in Eredivisie.. As for higher rated than Rashford.. Rashford has PL minutes and goals, so not sure by what standard he is..

          • michi

            hate to admit it, but rashford does look pretty spl though..

          • KeithSA

            They both play for the U21 squad and the reserves. In the same period Solenke scored 45 goals to Rashfords 19 and was regarded the better prospect. However the twat MOU never gives youth a chance and Conte not much better so that was why he wanted out to be given the same opportunities as Rashford got to show what he can do.

          • Stan Dinaround

            Almost wonder how |MOurinho manges to keep getting jobs with his approach.. He might win the odd trophy, but he does absolutely nothing to progress a club..

          • KeithSA

            Its a 3 year cycle first year to build and spend second year to win a trophy, third year he leaves or is fired as everyone hates him. It the instant gratification owners.

          • Stan Dinaround

            Think Utd would have been keen to find someone a little more substantial, but, without being a dick.. I’m so happy for them.. Ok, being a dick!

          • Stan Dinaround
        • globalcockup
          • Stan Dinaround

            Thats 1 goal in an u20’s tourni… not something to get carries away with..

    • michi

      Hope Solanke comes to bite ur back 🙂 lol..
      Lalanna’s end product was the worst, until first half of last season, he was on fire..

      • Stan Dinaround

        I hope he proves me wrong, but I defo dont want him biting my back!

  • RedNeve

    That was excellent mate. Cheers

  • herrdoktorprofessor

    to be fair it’s hard not to be anxious this time of year when you see the deep-pocketed Russian oligarch and gulf-state oil kleptocrats start writing very large checks.

    I trust klopp to bring in talent and to do so in a value conscious way. I also know that theres a decent chance that we will substantially improve our squad and still not make any progress vis-a-vis our competitors. Such is life in the upper crust of the premier league.

  • Brilliant, Keith. I agree 🙂

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