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Rampant Liverpool – Racist Moscow Player Ratings

Hello, missed me? I reckon  you missed the qualification stage of the Champions League more. Well, guess what: it’s back! And it’s back with a bang! When these forwards are on song they’re unstoppable. It has to be said that Moscow has no idea how to defend, but these four make it impossible for you to get your stuff together. Not sure if they actually had a goalie or just a random Russian hooligan who won a contest on Facebook.

Ratings? Yeah let’s.


Karius in the goal, looks dead handsome and watches it all goes wide. I think he uses Blue Steel at some point. Proper saves at times, good stuff. Another clean sheet, a 7,5 will do.

Gomez assigned to the task of defending their best player. First as a right back and later on centrally. Did well again, still so very young. Great to have the lad, an 8.

Always liked Degsy more on the righthand side, makes more sense. Did well overall so a 7.

A calming presence at the back, unfazed by it all, it was Klavan who needed to put in some defensive tackles and blocks. He did really well and made sure we got the clean sheet we deserved. An 8.

Hopefully the injury isn’t too bad. Was in tears when going off, Alby was. Thought he played well, both going forward and defensively. No mad Alby tackles, just row Z stuff. A 7 will do, get back soon mate.

I was going to write that Emre only passed it sideways and backwards, then he puts in a killer ball on Milner for Salah’s goal. Mad tackle, way too much risk. Markovic was sent off for less. A 6 will do just fine.

Gini had, just as his compadre in central midfield, a game where he wasn’t really needed all in all. Texted a mate we could’ve played with Charlie fucking Adam and Christian fuckwit Poulsen. Had less ups and less downs to Emre, but a 6 will do for him just as nicely.

At times a player needs to show he’s a 130M player when someone bids 130M for you. He didn’t in the last CL game, he did very much so tonight. The captain of the first half was simply unplayable for them. Third hattrick in the history of CL and last European hattrick in ages. So that gets you man of the match and a 10 for Phil.

I’d have figured Sadio would’ve got the armband, but it wasn’t to be. Talking about being unplayable, he really is. His energy, his aggression and his determination makes him potentially the best of the bunch. If you score that goal you get man of the match and a 10.

Knit all of that together, always in full control of what you do and in someway conduct the rampant chaos around him, Bobby is a special player. An assist that no other number 9 will give. Poaches a goal when he can. That level of energy gets you man of the match and a 10.

Imagine being the top scorer of your team. Imagine Seeing your team score 11 goals in 2 matches and you net zero of them. Imagine putting two lads on their arses to place it easily in the top corner and assert dominance as the goal machine? Well, if you’d do that you get man of the match and a 10. So there you go Mo, enjoy it.


Nice to have two very good backups to Moreno. Milner and Robertson are very capable of stepping up to the plate. Milner played extremely well in the offense in that second half. Great assist, kept trying to find players who we all wanted to score. Good game for him, an 8.

Trent’s a proper player, a 9.

Sturridge looked sharp and dead unlucky. Definitely deserved a goal. I like him not being all smiles as he’d want a goal. Good cameo though, good on the ball, good in the combination, good decisions. An 8 will do.

Eric Schipper

38 year old Liverpool and football fan. Hopelessly romantic about the game. Wants to deck the Football Gods time and again. Hates cheats and divers and how they get away with things.