FOAR FUCKS SAKES Part III – Laugh at your problems, everybody else does


That’s right, the rest to the top 6 contenders are rubbing their collective grubby hands with glee at the latest merry go round at Liverpool. I have ignored all messages from my friends who support Arsenal, the Scum, the Plastics and Spurs since the announcement that our “Little Derision” has fucked off into the sunset to the sunny shores of Barthalona. Yes they can stick their collective lisp right up Phil’s preverbal arse.

For the record I have no problem with him pissing off, in fact if you don’t want to play for Liverpool and are not 100% committed to our course you might as well go, but the manner he has gone about it, the manner Barca, Nike and the Spanish press have gone about it and for me the most important factor, it being mid-season and he his Cup tied… really, really fuck’s me right off. The reports of him going on strike and faking an injury so as not to play, just leaves a bitter taste in one’s mouth. Where as if he went at the end of the season, he would have gone with most fans blessing and well wishes.

Ungraciously, because I can and wont to do when pissed off, I can only wish him a severe lack of success, misery and ill fortune from this moment on, despite my dislike for Real Madrid (more Ronaldo inspired dislike, he of the sit ups in the cucumber patch persuasion) hope they thrash Barcelona form this moment on and I am dreaming of meeting them in the champions league so we can give them the “Mother of all Hidings” as “The Little Twat” watches on, pouting in the stands.

O.K. I have finished spitting my dummy out and throwing the cot out of the window so let’s asses the pros and cons of this unwanted development. I can understand that “Bitter Pill” wanted his wet dream move to the Crapalands and rather than creating a toxic atmosphere in the change room, it was better to rape Barcelona for an obscene amount of money.  I sort of understand the South American fantasy of playing for Real or Barca, but seriously who gets obsessed with a country that changes their language to incorporate a lisp just because their King has one. The French have a better way of dealing with such royal nuisances.


Do I think he is worth the price tag? No… to put it bluntly, as good a player as he is, he most definitely can be replaced by one, two or even three players with the money we have at our disposal. Consider Salah, who we paid almost a quarter less for, in comparison.  There are plenty, if not direct replacements, that we can bring in that will actually make the team and squad far stronger than it was with “The Little Cretan” in it.

Do I believe it will have the same impact on the team as when Suarez left? You cannot be serious, as Johnny Mac used to say, definitely no. The team is far better balanced, much stronger across the entire squad, plus the one not so small factor, we have a manager that actually knows how to win and recruit players despite a transfer committee and not being a self-proclaimed tactical genius.

Will the “Little Piss Ant” be missed? Begrudgingly yes.  I will make one caveat to this answer…. but only in the short term and short term I mean until next season or until new recruitments arrive and have been bedded into Klopp’s system of play.  Next season he will be forgotten and be named “Phil Who?” This my fellow Reds is why I am truly pissed off and why my uncharacteristically ill wishes towards “Toxic Phil” stems from.  He is cup tied and I think he would have been an integral part of our success in the Champions league.  Barcelona are a preverbal mile ahead in their league, so he is not needed for a final push towards glory, whereas we need him for that final push to secure and safe guard a top four finish and my hope of finishing second with the arrival of “The Dutch Titan” (I will regret that epitaph when Eric jumps on it as an excuse for over rating him in every game)

Can and will it be a defining moment in our season? That is the million dollar question and the answer is far from clear because it can and cannot.  The form of Salah and hopeful re-emergence of Mane to something like his form of last year as well as the return of Lallana from injury and the overall strength of our squad, we can most definitely negate the impact of the loss, as we proved when “The Little C…T” faked his injury at the start of the season to try and force a move. I am also sure or at least I hope we will add to the squad this January. Whether it will be Mahrez, Lemar or Sanchez (unlikely and I hope not) only time will tell. The news outlets are going crazy with speculation and the invented stories are boundless so I won’t speculate at this stage as I trust whoever Klopp brings in, it will be top quality and we won’t have a knee jerk reaction and bring in another Andy Carroll type flop, just to appease fans.

Leave your comments below and remember:

I don’t have an attitude; I have a personality you can’t handle.

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